Couples think hard about the future before making any big moves. Other times, one partner feels as if things are good and goes to buy a ring. If a proposal happens that you’re unprepared for, there’s often a lot of pressure to say yes, especially if it happens in public. However, here are the things you really need to consider first if you’re really planning on going ahead with it.
Are You In Love
You might assume you are, but think about it. Can you live without this guy? Does he stress you out a lot? Are you still in the relationship just because you’re comfortable? There’s nobody out there who’s perfect, but if you’ve had the same problems throughout the course of your relationship that have never been fixed, don’t expect marriage to suddenly solve them. Take a look at his faults and ask yourself, “Is this something I can live with?” Even if people promise they’ll change, it’s rare that they do.
What Is His Family Like
It’s true when you marry someone, you marry their family. You need to have a good enough relationship with them that you’re not resentful of their involvement in your life. If his mother is someone you can’t stand, things will just be harder once you’re married. You can’t expect your husband to be to cut out his family so it’s a conversation you need to have before tying the knot. Is he ready to put you before his mom? How often is he expecting them to visit?
Do You Want Kids
This is the number one relationship breaker out there since there’s no clear answer. You should never hold someone back from having the kids they want, but they also shouldn’t force you into having kids if you want to stay child free. If you disagree, it’s a situation that’ll leave one of you unhappy for the rest of your lives. Opinions may change, but you at least need to enter marriage on the same page.
How Is He With Money
Many couples choose to pool their financial accounts together, and that’s a great way to signify that you’re now a team. However, you may be in doubt if he happens to be really bad with money. Debt happens and nobody is perfect, but if he keeps adding to the problem instead of thinking of solutions, you need to look out for yourself. You don’t want to get married and have this guy ruin your credit. You need to think about your own relationship with money, as well. Are you willing to work harder to keep the two of you afloat if need be? Do you need to get your spending in check before making a commitment? It’s a lot to think about.
Do I Just Want A Wedding
It sounds vapid, but it happens. There’s so much of an emphasis on big weddings and special moments that you may just want the party, forgetting that you’re also expected to commit for the rest of your life. While things happen, and divorce isn’t uncommon, your goal here shouldn’t be to look for an out. Divorce in itself is time-consuming and very expensive, so if you feel safe with having that as an option, you may want to rethink this marriage altogether.
Do We Have Enough In Common To Keep Us Going
Couples don’t need to have everything in common, but some things are nice. And they don’t have to be time-consuming activities, either. If you both like the cook, that’s great. Or, if you both like horror films, that’ll be a good way to fill a Saturday. Having a similar personality is also a good thing for long-term success. Laughing at the same things, or enjoying the same memes is a small thing, but still a good sign that you’ve got legitimate chemistry.