Cheating is when one partner betrays the other partner’s trust and breaks the promise of maintaining emotional and sexual exclusivity with them.
Being cheated by someone you love very dearly can be devastating. People who get cheated on suffer enormously.
Can you imagine how it must feel when a person gets cheated and lied to by their partner, with whom they had dreamt to spend their entire lifetime?
They feel enraged, disappointed and broken. The first thing that comes to their mind when they get cheated is, “Why did this happen, what made their partners cheat?”
How common is cheating
Who cheats more men or women? Do men cheat more than women?
Though both men and women cheat, statistics reveal that more men than women have confessed to having affairs after marriage. So, what percentage of people cheat?
If you ask what percentage of men cheat and what percentage of women cheat, it’s not surprising that men are 7 percent more likely to cheat than women are.
The statistics confirm that men are more likely to cheat than women, but it’s far from revealing that all men cheat.
Not all men are alike and not all of them cheats. However, psychologically, there are factors that make men cheat more than women do.
Women are extremely sensitive beings and it’s emotionally traumatic when men cheat on them.
They find themselves tormented by the questions, “Why does this happen, why do married men cheat?” , “Is he cheating?”
It is not just about fleeting flings, many times women find their husbands carrying on with long-standing affairs and wonder about their partner, “Why do married men have long-term affairs ?”, “Why do people cheat in relationships?”
Here are some of the reason why men cheat
1. Men cheat due to lack of maturity
Why do men cheat in relationships?
Males, in general, will have a myriad of reasons why they engage in extramarital affairs. From my clinical experience, I have noticed a common theme of emotional immaturity with those that act on the emotional and physical aspects of cheating.
Lacking the maturity to invest the time, commitment, and energy to work through core issues within their marital relationship is why men cheat, well, at least some of them. Instead, these men often choose to engage in activities that are harmful to both their significant others, families and themselves.
Cheating men have a visible proclivity to be reckless. It would be helpful for men that are contemplating cheating to think long and hard if the affair is worth hurting or possibly losing the ones that they proclaim to love most.
2. Men cheat when they are made to feel inadequate
Why do men cheat? A gnawing feeling of Inadequacy is a major prelude to an urge to cheat. Men (and women) indulge in cheating when they feel inadequate.
Men who cheat repeatedly are those who are repeatedly made to feel like they are less than, they seek to find someone that makes them feel like a priority.
Looking for attention outside of a relationship is a prominent sign of an emerging betrayal in a relationship and the reason why men cheat.
3. Men feel ashamed about their desire for pleasure
Why men have emotional affairs and not just physical is because of shame, this is why people cheat.
I know that sounds ironic and like a cart-horse dilemma since many people become ashamed after getting caught cheating. But cheating behaviors are very often triggered by shame.
I hate to be reductive and categorical, but what many men who have cheated have in common–both gay and straight–is some degree of shame about their desires for pleasure.
Many of them love and are deeply devoted to their partners, but over time they develop an intense fear of their desires being rejected.
The closer any of us gets to someone we love, the more familiar and familial the bond becomes, and therefore the more difficult it is to seek pleasure as individuals–especially when it comes to sex and romance–without potentially hurting the other person in some way, and feeling shame as a result.
Rather than risk the shame of exposing their desires and getting rejected, many men decide to have it both ways: a safe, secure and loving relationship at home; and an exciting, liberating, sexual relationship elsewhere, this is the answer to the question, “why do men cheat”
4. Men sometimes have an intimacy disorder
What to look out for in men cheating? Any signs of your man grappling with intimacy issues could be a red flag.
Men cheat because they have an intimacy disorder, whether they commit online cheating or in person.
They likely don’t know how to ask for intimacy (not JUST sex), or if they do ask, they don’t know how to do it in such a way that connects with the woman, that answers why do men cheat.
So, the man then looks for a cheap substitute to soothe his needs and desires for intimacy.
5. Men cheat because they choose to
Cheating is the manifestation of unresolved issues not dealt with, a void that is unfulfilled, and the inability to fully commit to the relationship and his partner.
Husband cheating on wife is not something that happens, it a choice that the husband has made. There is no justified explanation for why do men cheat.
6. Men cheat due to selfishness
On the surface, there are many reasons why men cheat. Such as: “Grass is greener,” feeling desired, the thrill of the conquest, feeling trapped, unhappiness, etc. Underneath all those reasons and others, it is pretty simple, selfishness.
The selfishness that trumps commitment, the integrity of character and honoring another above self.
7. Men cheat due to lack of appreciation
While there are numerous stated reasons, one theme that runs through them for men is the lack of appreciation and attention.
Many men feel they work hard for their families, they internalize their emotions, can feel they have been doing much and not receiving enough in return, this explains, why do men cheat.
8.Men desire adventure
When husbands cheat they escape from the routine and blandness of everyday life; the life between work, commute, boring weekends with kids, in front of the TV set, or computer.
The way out from responsibilities, duties, and the specific role they have been given or adopted for themselves. This answers why do men cheat.
9.Men cheat for various reasons
First, we have to recognize that there is a difference between why do men cheat:
- The thrill of the hunt/danger of an affair
- Some men have no idea why they are compelled to do it
- No moral code for marriage
- Inner drive/need for attention (need for attention exceeds normalcy)
The reasons men give for why husbands cheat will help you understand men’s views on affairs:
- Their partner has a low sex drive/is not interested in sex
- The marriage is collapsing
- Unhappy with their partner
- Their partner isn’t who they used to be
- She gained weight
- Wife nags too much is trying to change him or is a “ball-buster”
- Better sex with someone who understands them better
- The chemistry is gone
- From an evolutionary perspective– they weren’t designed to be monogamous
- It’s just skin on skin– just sex baby
- Because they feel entitled/they can
At the end of the day, however, even if their spouse is intolerable at many levels, there are much better ways to address the issue.
10.Men cheat for avoidance, culture, value
Why do men have affairs?
There is no one defining factor that determines infidelity.
However, the three areas listed below are strong factors working in unison that can determine if one makes the choice to cheat on their spouse.
Avoidance: fear of looking at our own behaviors and choices. Feeling stuck or not being sure of what to do represents a fear of making a different choice.
Culturally ingrained: If society, parents, or societal leadership condones infidelity as a value where we may no longer see cheating as a negative behavior.
Value: If we see maintaining marriage as an important value (outside of abuse) we will be more open and willing to make new choices that work towards maintaining the marriage.
These are the reasons that explain why do men cheat.